Things to do for the love one who has left

Last Wednesday marks the 28th  day of my mum passing.

We have settled all my mum business - insyaAllah -

The fence around the gravestone (batu nesan) will be ready soon.

Right after her death, we organized a 3 days funeral feast and prayer (tahlil), a  7th day prayer was done in a mosque, a 40th day will done in the 1st week of Nov and then  the100th day. I hope I would be able to do it on yearly basis as well.

I have paid her fidyah (a penalty for not able to fast) - I know that she was unable to fast in the last 2 years but I pay for some extra years just in case- We family members have to help her to replace the fasting that she is not able to do.
Click here to know how to count your fidyah (puasa tak bertambah tapi fidyah bertambah as long as puasa belum habis di ganti)

We have to settle the debt that the dead have not yet paid - but I believe that my mum does not have any.

We have paid a religious teacher to do the haj for my mum- She went for umrah before but she did not get the opportunity to do the haj -

We close all her bank account - if you close ASB account, they will pay you Khairat Kematian of RM 200 cash. You will need to fill in a particular form and provide evidence of relationship - husband can use married certificate or children can use birth certificate.

As for the saving, you will need to do more if the dead leave RM5000 and above - they will be lawyer fees and all - transfer to next of kin account will be done according to the Islamic law (faraed)- even if the dead leaves a will- any other way to divert from Islamic law- you will need all next of kins (waris) to be present and all to agree that they do not want to follow faraed and all are to agree to the other alternative method or calculation.


And if there is property and land involved, you will need a lawyer and it will take longer . Not to be greedy but it is good to change name and all that to avoid future hassles among children and grandchildren. Again Islamic law is applicable.
I remember the hassles and troubles that my father went through to settle his grandfather land. Money is needed in advance to pay a lawyer. Then you need to find all relatives/waris - need their identification documents and all their signatures - Imagine - my great grandfather has 10 children (one of them is my grandfather). My grandfather  has another 10 children and so on .  Yes the appointed lawyer will do all but still you have to move about here and there  to make sure all is moving.  A death certificates are required for those who have passed away.
Settling land ownership will take time,money and patient - the land office is not that efficient either :)


Next, if the dead is Selangor citizen and is 60 years and above - he or she will be paid RM 2000 - I don't know what this is but it is like khairat kematian as well. My mum is not entitled as she is only 56 years old.
It is maybe nothing to some people but to some others it is a lot of  money  (it can be used back for the I arwah./spirit)  - to pay a debt, or hold a feast - so go and claim it.

I have yet to go through my mum things - all her clothes- My aunt said I should go through all and segregate them - for give away to the unfortunate - for gift to the closest relatives - the one that is new - as a way of saying Thank You - and maybe a few for  me to keep - It is not good to keep all - that what the elderly said -

Then her gold and silver jewelry (if any) need to be kept safely - Not good to be sold - need to use them once a while or else we need to pay the yearly zakat.  Sometimes, our mother jewelry is not to our liking - a bit old fashion  but I think to put it on once a while is OK - maybe on hari raya - but then if you keep all just for the sake of keeping them also does not serve  the whole purpose- so maybe you can exchange it to something that you like and put it on everyday- knowing that it is from the love one (who is no more here).

If there is life insurance and epf , a trip to their offices with complete documentation are required.  My mum has none - she does not believe in insurance :) and she never worked in her entire life.

All in all - it is good to settle arwah things as soon as possible - easy for her and easy for us to move on.


PS: If I were leave behind with a fortune - I ll be thankful and grateful - it is an unexpected bonus. But if I were left behind none- I ll be thankful as well - what I have is enough and more is to come InsyaAllah-  I hope that I will not be  that person who quarrel or fight over a deceased fortune - Nauzubillah.
and InsyaAllah.