This post is for you

New Friend, Old Friend. Real Life Friend, Internet/ Virtual friend.



And there is Me. One self divides into two. Am I the same person to all these friends of mine?


To you, I said – dear, babe,
To my next door friends, I said – ko, hang,


To you, I said – iye ke ala sian nya , oh I am sorry dear, iya lawa so sweeeeeeeeet (dengan semangatnya :)).
To my friends here,  I said - iye ke !, apa jadi, hang buat apa?, ko ni careful sikit leh tak?, hmm cantik.

And  when they are sad – I said sabar ye, sambil tepuk tepuk bahu – At worse, I just dont know what to say . I go blank when people cry in in front of me :). Yes I am good at giving advice (perasan) but when they are not crying hehe

But when you have a bad day, I write a long paragraph of consolation words and I give you a hug – though it is only a virtual one :). I bagi melalui angin :D 


One thing for sure – I feel closer to some of you 
and I do feel that our relationship is more than virtual.

But what about my friends who have been here all the while – am I not close to them?


Yes, we don’t call each other by endearment, but that does not mean I don’t care or love them.


They see (and have seen) the real me , the blur me, the clumsy me, the brutal me, the snobbish me (at times), the selfish me (at times), the moody me (if I have one hehe tak nak mengaku) – they see me in actual situation when all the other elemets of my life  happen and revolve around me. – here and now – busy with datelines, deadline, pile of work, bad day, annoying superior, sick children, problems at home, problem with my own self, the pressure, the hassle, the running around and all – they SEE me WITH all that elements attached, yet they might not know all that, because we do not talk about  the elements on a daily basis - mine or theirs.


I do not tell them stories of yesterday, or what happens today. We do not share it – not that often. Even if I go lunch with them everyday,  we only talk about that annoying boss , or that paper or that hot gossip. I do not actually tell them what I cook last night or what I do last weekend or what I think of this or that. I do not tell them how fun certain things are or  I do not really share with them how I perceive certain things or or how certain things should be the way I prefer :). When I have a bad day, when I need an ear (or both ears:)) to listen to my grievances or when I need a shoulder to cry on, yes I do go to my real friends . But it seldom happens though as I am a keeper :). I keep all dear to my heart.

But you , my blogger’s friends, I tell you stories . My daily encounters, my weekend, what worries me today, what happened in the past, how certain things effect me, what disturbs me, I write and I write with no pressure attached – no hassle – just me sitting down in front of my desktop and I am telling you my story – I am sharing with you  my thoughts, what I value, where I stand on certain issues, and most importantly  what matters to me (and me only)


My real friends sometimes piss me off, they make me mad or I make them angry , or the not so kind remarks that we say to each other when we are under pressure or the small little things that we take heart . Despite all these, they are indeed my friends. At the end of the day – some of them who have seen the real me – the whole package of me- the ME at its worst or the Me at its best are my true friends. Who can stand and bear me with ALL OF ME. maybe tak ramai kot heheh. And through our daily encounters, we know each other- we can read each other - yes I am bad but at heart I am not that bad hehe lebih kurang macam tu la (puji diri sendiri)


But you my dear, whom I never met, who have listened to my stories – to my inner mind, who have known the other side of me – the ideal me, the sweet me, the kind hearted me or the humble me, (ops terlebih puji) the nothing me, nothing special, nothing extra ordinary - are also my friends . Through all the stories that we have shared, we are connected . For the hugs that I can feel, for the soothing words that ease my burden, for the soft encouragement that lifts up my spirit.  - the you whom I have cried my heart to - in writing, while I faced with the terrible loss or the you whom I ramble on my bad day . You also have seen the real me –


The two-of-me combines – the real and the virtual me – make up of ME – the person I am today :).

To all my friends (mind you that not everybody I call a friend, but you know who you are), real or virtual – I care for you. And thank you for accepting me as YOUR friend.

May God’s blessing be with you at all time. Whatever races or religions you embrace (some of the stories that I write is about my chinese friend, some are from my Indian friend and I never once specify them) because whoever you are - I have known you as a friend - my friends.

PEACE  :D

PS:
Yes Farah, Bella, Ina and whoever you are out there,  I am a pain in the ass sometime, but eventually I want to be the nicest ME as ME in my blog :D.

How about you dear dear ? Macam mana ye kita rasa dah lama kenal :D