Have you ever felt that you dont know anything anymore?. You have no idea of what will happen next and you dont know what tomorrow will be like. You dont know what to expect. And you just pasrah.
It is as if you got lost and and you fail to find your way out. So you just walk straight. You walk on and on as long as you have the energy to do so.
Any new day is dark. You dont see any light. What you have is only faith. So you hold on to it dearly. And your every breath depends on it. It is what you have left. It is what determines whether you are going to stand tall or you are going to collapse. You are on that precarious point of your life.
I am at that very point . I can just continue walking or I can drop dead and fall onto my knees. I can stay afloat or I can let myself drown. I can stay positive or I can just find faults in every single thing that happens and scrutinize the negative elements. I can dwell on WHY's or I can just istifar and sabar and take charge - to make do with whatever that I have.
The storm has not gone yet. Maybe it wants to pull me up into the air and drags me into a nowhere. But I am here still. Redha, sabar, muhasabah. All things that happened can happen at any other time but it is happening now. All of it - on top of one another. I ingat, Kun Fa Ya Kun - Allah Maha Besar - dan dia berkata jadila - jadila semua - And I know that it does not have to happen. Or It would not happen if Allah says otherwise.
And I am left powerless. Sungguh kecil dan sungguh kerdil. Tidak ada daya dan upaya melainkan hanya dari Allah yang Maha Besar. I truly dont have any. I am speechless. My mind goes blank.
It is as if you got lost and and you fail to find your way out. So you just walk straight. You walk on and on as long as you have the energy to do so.
Any new day is dark. You dont see any light. What you have is only faith. So you hold on to it dearly. And your every breath depends on it. It is what you have left. It is what determines whether you are going to stand tall or you are going to collapse. You are on that precarious point of your life.
I am at that very point . I can just continue walking or I can drop dead and fall onto my knees. I can stay afloat or I can let myself drown. I can stay positive or I can just find faults in every single thing that happens and scrutinize the negative elements. I can dwell on WHY's or I can just istifar and sabar and take charge - to make do with whatever that I have.
The storm has not gone yet. Maybe it wants to pull me up into the air and drags me into a nowhere. But I am here still. Redha, sabar, muhasabah. All things that happened can happen at any other time but it is happening now. All of it - on top of one another. I ingat, Kun Fa Ya Kun - Allah Maha Besar - dan dia berkata jadila - jadila semua - And I know that it does not have to happen. Or It would not happen if Allah says otherwise.
And I am left powerless. Sungguh kecil dan sungguh kerdil. Tidak ada daya dan upaya melainkan hanya dari Allah yang Maha Besar. I truly dont have any. I am speechless. My mind goes blank.
But I know that I need to stay strong, I need to stay insane. I need to hold on to Allah and only Allah. Because I am really alone. I am really on my own.
PS: mail2blogger.post
7 comments:
erma, pls dont say u r alone. i'm always here erma. i know u r strong. d only thing i can do from here is to pray for u and ur family.i hope ur dad is getting better.
I guess most of us have that feeling too..You are not alone..blogger friends kat sini ramai...we will listen 2 u ... Take care and be strong always..
jangan macam ni dear... sedih i tengok kalau u tak bersemangat macam ni... u are not alone dear for Allah is always with u, your family is still with u... they r your strength kan... InsyaALlah, semua ni sekejap saja..
*hugs*
banyak2 berdoa pada yang kuasa ye!
i'll pray for u too....
dear,
read my sms to u just now...be strong dear...im with you ok...u r not alone
oh my dear erma, please be strong. u r strong darling. we are here with u. always pray for you. i hope ur dad is getting better and ALLAH is always with you....take care.
dearest semua tq may Allah balas yr good thought, doa and prayer dengan segala macam kebaikan and semua urusan di permudahkan utk u all semua - tq babes
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