Am I losing it?

When I read ScreamingMommy 's post here, I remember a particular incident that I have meant to share but forget to write :) - pasal lupa melupai juga :)

It is so easy to be forgetful nowadays but I never expected not to remember this one simple task because it involves my love one. My guilt stricken heart is still full of guilt but lessons learned to make myself more effort to remember. I could blame all to the fish heads that I have chewed and swallowed when I was a little girl - lumat leyat but there is no use to blame other things/human apart from one self.

Yeah I am forgetful - but not to the extend that I have to write things down. Averagely, I would remember ones' birthday, this month invitation or faces that I have seen before. I would remember my meeting dates or bosses' datelines. So I thought I am averagely OK :). Sekali sekala terlupa macam jemputan Unai tu - dimaafkan ye Unai :)

Have you read one article a few weeks ago where a father forgot his little girl who was at the passengger's seat behind? He parked his car, got out and left his girl locked inside. She died on the way to hospital due to insuffocation. When her father finally remember her whereabout (in the car obviously), he was too late.What a tragedy.

I read and I wonder how and why. Could not get it out of my head, it became a topic that I brought up during coffee talk at the office. How could he forget huh? And I ask Mr Hub as well, how could he?.

We were in a car -after Mr Hub fetched me from KLIA airport coming back from KK and there was massive jam along the KLIA highway (huge and heavy signboard fell down) and I said why huh ? macam mana dia boleh lupa anak sendiri?

Nak dijadikan cherita sejarah dalam hidup, my phone rang. And a strange voice asked me, "kak you tak nak ambil anak you kat school ke?" and the line went dead. At that very moment, it hit me that I did not make any arrangement for Erdina's transport from the school for that particular day. My goodness. My heart started to beat faster, my whole body became agitated and my mind went restless. - menggigil mendail.-calling my aunty to go to the school immediately. The ride was about 10 minutes and then was 745pm. That was the longest 10 minutes of my life. I kept calling asking if she had arrived and was Er okay?.

Go on- tell me I am a bad mother, but I always (ALWAYS) remember to arrange for her pick up if I know we are going to be late (this is my defense mechanism or whatever it is-trying to justify myself). Maybe Allah wants to show me. I duk sibuk how and why a man could forget his daugther and left her dead. And on that very day, I forgot mine. How very small I am. How very kerdil and for that I need to pray harder. Pray to remember.

When my cousin arrived at school, Dina was in tears - there were 4 guards who starts duty at 7pm. She said that one of them asked her for my numbers and if she had any small change with her. She did not. So he rode a motorcyle and went to nearby shop to get smaller change. I am so thankful to him and the three others because they did not do any harm to my little girl. I know the worst and the most horrible could happen. And I thank Allah for protecting my child. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. ALhamdulillah. and Many more and it is never enough because I know that some other parents do not get this lucky.


Nowadays, I give Dina extra change - alot of syilling to be used for a phone call - if I did not arrive by 7pm- normally at 7 pm there are still a group of children around

What can I say? I am thankful definitely. And I pray hard not to forget important matters. I promise to do important check of the day if anything - all children are taken care of? to tick once ok.


ps:
1) we are not invincible after all- sometimes we do forget the important matters . Remember not to forget... Pray and make doa all the time.
2) and I pray that I wont turn senile so soon or get whatever alzheimer type diseases - dijauhkan Allah - I pray that I grow old with all the memories - bitter and sweet and be gone from this world with them all  - kemas dalam hati dan jiwa :) - yang manis membahagiakan - yang pahit mematang dan menguatkan