Not worth the life

Holding a grudge against somebody gives us good feeling and huge satisfaction but only while the anger lasts- it is just great to be quiet , to sulk, or to ignore text messages or to shut off whoever causing it – but only for a while - then when the anger subsides it does not feel good anymore- It feels restless- it feels awkward – and after a while guilt come in- regardless whether you are on the right or wrong side. So it just not worth it- I learn all that long before- good friendship that gone down the drain because I sulked too long- and when I think I had enough – it was just too late to mend things.

I was really bad you know- really bad- I was very stubborn and very ego. That friend sent me sms- I deleted it replying “not read”. She sent me emails. I replied with “not read”. One day, one big envelope arrived at my house – In it, a whole stack of letters/printed email. I scan a few lines and then threw it into a garbage bin. I told myself that I do not want to know. Do you know what things that we fought over? I cannot remember- but I know that it was very petty- very very small tiny arguement that we had. How very childish was my act then? Now after so many years, I wish that I had read those letters. I wish I had listened to what she wanted to say. So we could settle it once and all.

These days – I may still have my temper- I can still be very blunt- I may make my close friends pissed off and we may start “the war words” but I make sure I say the “truth” and the facts and the right things. I make sure that I don’t attack but only mean to rationalize or justify. One of us will be defensive of course. I can be defensive as well because I believe what I said is true while the other persons disagree.  We both will be very mad and we will be quiet for a while-

Ummi loves you two

But nowadays, I will always make sure that I don’t hold it that long. Islam said 3 days cooling of period. As for me 1 week is better :). Or I would just go with the flow. But I know that whatever negative feeling that I had is over - If somehow we come across each other, I will not retreat or try to escape :). I would just joke around, we are ok right? 

It is good to do closure – asking the other party, “we are ok, aren’t we” .
Yes, we are. Because life is really short. Too short to be unhappy and holding bitter feelings towards each other.

I lap you too awww :)

"life is like an instagram" you know :D, no matter how bad the photo look likes, choose a perspective/filter/angle that make it look beautiful" - it is in our hands - we decide how we want it to look like.

eRmAyUm

ps:
> i am so addicted to instagrams - huhu :)

> only for close friends that is worth keeping at your side. yang tak worth tu lantak p la- g main jauh jauh :)