Sep 6, 2009

The other women - Part II



I wrote briefly on this before and would like to elaborate more following my entry on "Men oh Men" - I have to be fair to Men (in the universe)  right?  They alone cannot make it happen if a women whom they are after do not want them or allow it to happen...

I may not understand "the other women" fully but I think I can write on them non judgmentally because I am close to 2 of them  and know another one ( "close" is under rated though- sometimes we thought we know this person so well but the truth is- no - we do not know them at all).

Yes,  " the other women "  are lonely women- they are the women who have gone through rough experiences. yes, they want easy life but not all of them are bad or  pompuan gatal/ sl**t- (but my story may not be true on other people )

Take my sister, as a case in point (not related by blood :)), she was this village girl whose husband had cheated on her. she came to KL from rural Sabah with 2 babies knowing nothing of  real life in a big city. I came to know her as she approached my parents looking for  somebody to take care of her two girls for 5 straight days  - only to pick up them during weekend. (then, one is at 1 year old and another is 4 months old)- we took her children in as part of us maybe because my parents thought they want to help them to be a Muslim (she was a "mualaf"- she can easily left Islam as her husband left her ).

She struggled hard with 15 hours job that paid only Rm 600-700 salary. She changed job quite often - but same type of job - cashier or promoter at any small cheap household bazaar.
She got the look  and the body- and many men wants her - she started with somebody husband  who supported her of RM1k a month- to being a second wife of a  successful businessman - living in a fully furnish condo with RM5k allowance- who would not want that?

Being naive me (or stupid)- I never knew about it until she confided in me- that was 5 years back- now her children is 11 and 10 years old -. Her marriage did not last long (that another story about Men Part II :))


Now she is divorced and she is with another man- and she told me that there is no way she could go back to the day of working long hours and little pay and there is no way for her get a decent job with good salary as she is not educated. She said, " even to work at KFC I will need SPM cert"

I throw in  a question of morale- of course once a while - she said she is only the"other" women even if she is (and was) the 2nd wife - she did not hurt anybody - not the 1st wife

-nothing  changes for the 1st wife (as she would never know- ? women got instinct maybe any wife would know but do not want or prefer not to know or afraid to know?)- 

She also said that 1st wife or any wife at all with a husband who loves them (or maybe the husband is just responsible enough to stay ?) is lucky as the men will always be protective of their 1st wife's feelings - nothing changes - weekend, Sunday, every day going back home (except outstation? to work or to other women?)- but she (my sister) is only getting a tiny fraction of a happy life- yes she got money, good/luxury life and a few hours a day of being pampered or feeling loved by a man - but she never gets the real family's life - a real husband who will be with her day and night.

So should we hate or sympathize with her?

"The other women"  will be continued....

No comments:

Share/Bookmark
Blog Widget by LinkWithin