Why is married men love extra marital affairs? Affair is one thing. Flirtation is another thing. Why married men like to flirt? They say it is nothing, but harmless flirtation. SMS, Chatting, or in person. The shy one will opt for internet chatting and phone sms. The not so shy ones will try his luck bluntly. But when flirtation turns into an affair, who fault is it?
A friend confides in me this morning. It is more an update on how she copes with her life nowadays after the truth strikes her.
She said she does not understand why her husband did what he did..
Dear friend, there are many things that we can’t understand. We cannot understand all things - especially why somebody dear to us hurts us in such a way. We ended up blaming ourselves when no answers are found. Don’t you ever blame yourself… you are the victim.
You are the poor woman called “wife”. It is normal to feel a betrayal. Most will blame the other women. But one hand cannot clasp on its own right? Who started the affair? From harmless flirtation.... From friendship to mutual likeness? To mutual needs? To Mutual Desires? Then to infidelity? …
The man if caught in the act, will be in denials. If proven guilty will start giving excuses and beg for forgiveness. It is so easy for them , don’t you think?
We, woman are stronger than any 10 or 100 men- emotionally I mean. We, maybe do not really know how strong we can be until something bad happens (loss of a child, spouse, parent, fall out of love etc).
What does man think? What do they have on their mind? Bored of whatever they have- the current wife & children?. All has become so routine and life has become so normal? Wives are not up to their expectation? There is no more love (if it ever exists). So what is the solution?.
Flirt and court other women? Life suddenly becomes meaningful again?. Life is brighter, sunnier and happier again?
Have they forgotten life is a big circle/cycle? You ll start and end up the same. Fine, go find new women- fall in love, get married and have children. And at one point of your life , when you start feeling all has become so routine and normal, the time when all life problems piled up , husband and wife are both caught up in the life itself ( sleep, work, children, money etc) .. when there is no more passion, when all seems wrong… will you then again go find other women? Leave whatever that you have today? for the 2nd time?
Don’t get me wrong- I do not encourage anybody to stay in a bad relationship- I don’t forbid anybody to find other love or life if the current life is so suck.
But do it properly- do it in amicably – one at a time- try to find solution, deal with root problems and if all fails – it is OK to decide on a separate path- a separate life - but not on
CHEATING on your wife.
If you man are so immature and childish – please go ahead.
To my dear friend, let your husband do what he wants to do. You are better off without him. It is his lose not yours. Pick up the pieces and start over –
Yes, It is a lonely world without love or without man.
To stay together miserably or to leave him but scared you ‘ll be miserable- not much choice that you have. I would prefer to be miserable- alone- and then get over it and move on. Yes, it is easier said than done.
If you can forgive him, please do so. I believe that each one of us should always get a 2nd chance.
But do you love him enough? - that allow you to forgive him? Forgive is slightly easier to do but it hard to forget. No matter how hard you tried. – it has become part of history and it will always be there . But over time, the wound will heal....
So once you decide , don't be hesitate, and don't ever look back....
3 comments:
hi erma :)
terpanggil plak nak leave comment hehehe. well, this is a very interesting entry, to say the least.
i have always pondered about whose fault is it when couples go their own separate ways in the event of orang ketiga. society selalu salahkan isteri "tak pandai jaga laki lah, tak berhias lah" and macam2 lagi. pada pendapat i lah kan, of course dua2 pun ada salah tapi as perempuan kita takde lah pulak terus2 cari lelaki lain kan. society allows men to be more independent and they do get away with a lot of things that we don't. byk benda yg kalau lelaki buat boleh dimaafkan tapi perempuan "tak manis. tak pandai jaga air muka suami" that kinda thing you know.
ultimately, i rasa, lelaki kalau memang sahihnya ada perangai gatal, pernah menggatal ataupun keturunan menggatal -- selalunya akan buat perangai a lot of the time bila marriage is a bit rocky but also at other times when there's nothing wrong with their wives!! diorang suka perempuan yang submissive, easy to control. perempuan2 zaman moden kan bijak berbicara mmg susah lah nak control. so of course they will use that against us. sebagai wanita, mari lah kita sentiasa jaga hati suami kita tapi jgn tak jaga hati sendiri pulak. perempuan2 yang menggatal dgn suami orang tu pulak, apa kes? my opinion is, org lelaki yg dah kawin, walaupun botak gemuk ataupun buruk sekali, kalau poket tebal insya Allah berduyun2 awex mengejar. stability is everything in the modern world. money power sex.
i simpati dgn your friend. semoga hati dia tabah.... mintak jauhkan jadi pada kita, amin!
Tq lady leisure or shall I call you Angelina Jolie..heheh please tell it is she on yr profile photo:)
I agree with you on your comment- but Men yg baik pun kena jaga coz maybe ada pompuan lain yg pandai mengayat- lelaki ni lemah when it comes to women- maklumla they all takda nafsu lain hehehe- kita ayat g shopping ja :)
ermayum, kalau la i baca post ni before the strikes :(
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