Losing the precious one

I was blog walking last night - and I arrived at here-  and I tracked back the story here, here and here and I cried  (maybe you think I am so easily touched - No, this is not a romance book that I cried over, this is a real story).

I could not imagine if I were at her place (or at anybody's place at all - who has lost a child) - losing a mum is hard enough but losing a child is beyond my imagination - to come to one's sense, to grip such a wretched reality-

From my experience (of losing somebody who is close to my heart), sad does not come immediately , shock turns into calmness, then turns into numbness - a state of no feeling - tears only fall later - A sense of longing or missing the one who we have lost will never go away. It will never heal- that part of our heart is gone forever.

I think she is so brave to be able to write in details a sequence of events that happened during and after the accident.

Reading her story make me want to hug my children tighter- to not being mad at the smallest petty things - to be more patient and of course to spend more quality time with them 

I am not sure if losing a child before his or her birth (miscarriage) is easier than losing a child at birth (after carrying him or her for more than 9 months) or losing a child when he or she is still a baby or a toddler or losing them when they are a teenager or an adult - Each is hard and none is better than the other.

And  I don't want any . But it is not our choice to make. We can only pray for the best -pray that our children live longer and once they become independent, and successful in their life- we can go in peace. Amin.

Semoga Ummi Harris tabah dan cekal and roh anaknya dicucuhri rahmat
- Al Fatihah-

PS:
I am so thankful and grateful - because I never had a misscarriage like my dear friend has or death at birth like my cousin has- they are a few of many of the strong women that I know- they are happy now but it does not make the past is the past- every little angel is always thought for now and then.
Though the little ones touch their mothers' heart for only a short period of time (in the womb) or be (in this world) with their mother for a split of second- their mother will never forget them. 


My mother lost my older sister when she was 7 days old- I could not imagine the thought of being pregnant for 9 months but to be together in this world for only 7 days-  It must be hard -
And my mother would remember every 25th of July - she would buy ice creams to be distributed to all the children playing outside our house because the day was my sister birth day- she remembered it for as long as she lived.