Sama X serupa

Salam

I went inside my parents' house yesterday, err not theirs anymore . It is my brother's now.

I come here often but never once I got in since my dad passed away. It has been 5 months. 5 short months. Sometime it feels like yesterday but at other times it feel ages ago considering so many things happen between then and now.

The outside of the house has been repainted with bright yellow colour with white frames. The inside has also been given my brother's personal touch. A bright orange colour on the doors' and windows' frames. A new gigantic grandfather clock for one . New furniture eh? Gone all the big size photo frames on the wall (my dad suka besarkan gambar sendiri :) ) semua dinding dia sahaja yang memosing and a little bit of our photos in between :). Gone all his mountains' photo, posing in the midst of cloud proudly.

Now there are only a few photos of him n my mum on the wall of the living room. Couple photo - photo berdua dua di sana dan di sini. The small-frames ones. And a few more on the tv cabinet (yang sebelum ini  tiada photo terletak disitu) and a few more on my brother's brand new huge fridge (yang sebelum ini juga tidak pernah ada photo disitu)
(where did u throw away the short-fat fridge?- 2 of them actually, satu berasap sokmo letak apa pun beku and another kureng sejuk letak ikan pun busuk ).

Where am I just now ? Yeah the photos of them. Them smiling, posing with thumbs up (my dad favorite's pose) or them waving to the camera, him berpeluk tubuh, her bercekak pinggang. Photo of them posing depan taj mahal, depan disneyland jepun, photo of him in china, indon, europe.

And my eyes welled and my heart cried the invisible tears.
And my heart digamit rindu yang sangat dalam dan kesedihan yang sangat pedih because the reality of them not being here (not in jasad anymore) hurts so deep.

And that night, all was coming back to me. All those final moments. I thought of them. The life that they have lived (dengan segala kekurangan masih boleh berjalan budget half of the globe - my dad with all his determination to see the world and to climb and conquer all mountains). I thought of  the life that they have given us and the life that they have left behind them and the life that they have left behind FOR us.Thank you Pa, Thank you Bu, Thank you.

And silently, in the middle of the night, my tears fell.
Love Er Ma Yum
ps: love them more and more now. Now. There is not much time.

To Bella (not Bella Swan) who lost her mother last Tuesday, and Nur Tulip who lost her father earlier this month, I feel you  girls. I totally feel you ** hugs**

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