My last day with my mum

My mum stayed with me during the fasting month- her health deteriorated to the worse level on the 1st week of Ramadan when she suddenly became weak and lose her ability to move- It looked like a minor  stroke when I noticed her mouth and eyes dropped and become uneven. Amazingly, her face restored to its original look a few days later- yet she was still unable to move or use her hands and fingers- she was bedridden and need to be fed and cleaned.

Throughout the Ramadan month , she did not eat much- she lose her appetite. yet she asked for everything from fruits to bubur lambuk to satay. On the morning of Eid, she asked for a canned lychee. Though she said she wanted to eat all these, she barely finished any small portion at all.  She tasted a pinch of this and that and barely swallowed them- She did not managed to taste satay though - I totally forgot or (maybe I just did not really  make effort to look for it ) - She asked for satay on the last day of Ramadan - 

I brought her back to her house to celebrate raya - She did not feel well and she said she was so sleepy - She suddenly had a Diarrhea (the stool was dark black color - one of the final signs of  dying?) - so she said she did not want to follow us visiting nearby relatives  -  

I made my way to the east coast on the evening of the 1st Eid and that was the last time I saw her- She asked me , "where are you all going" and I told her we were going to Trengganu for raya just like the previous years.

If only I knew that that was the last day I saw her - I would hug her tighter, really feel her in my arms-   really look at her face and eyes,  and  tell her that I really love her...

 And  I would stay instead of going .