Cucu Cucu Atuk

kenangan melawat mzium negara with Atuk

More than 1 week has passed. Life has returned to normal. If I dont think about him, it feels normal to think that he is somewhere doing his thing.


Alhamdulillah, my children are coping well. 

Qayyum asks about his Atuk sometime, especially before bed time. Ummi atuk mana? he asked. Atuk dah tidur kat kubur, I said, and Q answered, oh yee, atuk akit, atuk dah takda, atuk dur kat bur. Then he will repeat the question again and I gave him the same answer. The cycle of Q & A continues until he falls asleep (or sometime I fall asleep first :), boring and penat Ummi melayan soalan yang sama :). I still have my father's kain pelekat that he wore last week. And I wrap the cloth around Qayyum when he is sleeping - petua orang tua bau untuk melepas rindu if any.

As for Dina, she is hit hard by her Atuk's sudden death.. She cried when jenazah dikapankan. And she cried still at the grave yard,  my sobbing inter-twined with her wailing. She was the one who diligently pijak atuk. She was the one who was very pitiful and compassionate towards her Atuk.. Though at time, she was tired, she still did her pijak service. I always reminded her before, tak lama dah Dina nak pijak atuk pun, esok atuk dah takda, takda sapa nak suh dina pijak lagi. I never imagined what I said would take place in such a short time. Atuk was also the one who fetched Dina from school, buy her henna and coloring book from night market. I never fail to remind Dina to recite Al Fatihah for Atuk if she is missing and thinking of him 

Acha is coping well, as well. She is still young, so I guess she does not really show any sad feeling. Anyhow, she is the type who always looks  normal and carefree  because her true feelings only shown once a while. Like sometime, out of no where, she would come asking me for a hug and tell me that she misses Uwan. Sooner or later, she will come and tell me she misses Atuk

Both of them kissed Atuk for the last time- at home and at the graveyard. They said goodbye sofly with I love you Atuk. Every day, I would remind them to recite Al fatihah for Atuk and Uwan. I told them, if you feel like u are missing them, read more than one time. It is the same advice that I am giving myself. Q did not kiss Atuk. He did not come near because he did not want. And I did not force him. I rasa dia takut tengok Atuk terbaring kaku. 

Once I have parents and my children have grandparents, now I dont and they dont. So love your parents now, love them tomorrow and love them forever. Life is too short to be wasted

Love Ermayum