I do feel scared that if I close my eyes I will see my mother's face - I am scared that I will dream of her telling me that I am not doing enough - scared that she will come with sad face and all - whatever that I am thinking of only last for a minute or 2- then I fall asleep- I hope one of these days, I will dream of her coming to me smiling and tell me all is alright now -
Maybe because I am tired , I fall asleep easily - I cooked for the 2nd day tahlil (prayer for the dead) - just fried noodle - serve with agar- agar and fruits- for the 3rd day tahlil we cook chicken curry, salted fish, sambal belacan and mixed veggies - served with cakes and agar-agar. I was not at home on the 1st day tahlil- the day my mother died. Luckily my aunt came to the empty house and took charge- With whatever that she could find- she managed to fry mee hoon and instruct others to buy some cakes and fruits-. Thank You.
Yesterday marked the 7th day - I ordered 5 types of kuih - packed all and distributed it to the nearby mosque.
Yesterday morning , I follow my father to his old residential area in KL and we met some of my mother old friends - All were shocked to find out that she has died- There are 2 close friends- one is my old neighbor who told me that she thought of my mother and thinking of visiting her this coming Saturday- and then there is another one who is busy cooking as that very afternoon she wanted to visit my mother - she had asked a few other friends and all were ready to go. She was surprised to see me - and the news that I conveyed. She said that she did not know why she kept thinking of my mother lately.
I think God sometimes send us a sign/a feeling/a thought - those who are close to us to think of us - So if you ever thought of an old dear friend who you have not seen for so long- it is good to pay him or her a visit - at the moment you had your first thought/feeling.
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